Hello :)

Most of the time I try to keep this a happy blog, I do reblog some serious or important shit now and then.

annearachne:

crazy-pages:

hornygold:

spoiledchestnut:

Alien: You shouldn’t eat that.

Human: What?

Alien: That thing. Don’t you know it’s extremely acidic? Enough to cause eventual deterioration of your flesh?

Human: ….it’s a fucking pineapple.

Alien: But that thing contains bromelain, it’ll destroy your body’s proteins!

Human: Not if I digest the bromelain first.

Alien: Humans are insane!

“Not if I digest it first” is an official human motto, in close competition with “not if I pet it first”.

Trying to imagine what an alien’s reaction to “I’m here for a good time, not a long time” would be

(via the-best-of-funny)

lierdumoa:
“ mysharona1987:
“ bogleech:
“ philsandifer:
“ ununnilium:
“ oshkeet:
“ suren1990:
“ Do white people have even an ounce of chill
”
IIRC she to “sue” (it was like a dollar) because her insurance wouldn’t pay for the cost of the hospital...

lierdumoa:

mysharona1987:

bogleech:

philsandifer:

ununnilium:

oshkeet:

suren1990:

Do white people have even an ounce of chill

IIRC she to “sue” (it was like a dollar) because her insurance wouldn’t pay for the cost of the hospital stuff until there was a law suit to address damages. Hence her smiling like it’s a goofy thing.

Oh well jeez. >:/ MEDIA RAGE

Yeah, it emerged afterwards that this was a lawsuit to try to trigger a homeowner’s insurance claim to cover medical bills, and that Connell remains on perfectly good terms with her nephew with no actual stress or tension within the family.

Yeah, this is a case of someone getting fucked over by health insurance and using their own loophole against them.

The media loves this narrative of people filing “ridiculous” lawsuits but actually MOST of those stories are distorted bullshit.

Wow, I never knew the full context of the story. I just heard it vaguely on Buzzfeed or wherever and thought “Wow, what a bitch.”

‘Frivolous lawsuits’ are a myth invented by unethical corporations to discredit the consumers and laborers they’ve screwed over.

(via slaughtermetals)

free-dogs:

free-dogs:

Normalize bare faces in ALL settings. Makeup should not be a requirement for beauty, professionalism or hygiene. Normalize the idea that if applying makeup isn’t enjoyable there’s no reason to be wearing it. Then destroy the elitism within makeup culture and destroy the idea that makeup as a hobby requires spending a lot of money.

If I see one more woman come into my job, spend $200 and then say “that’s the price of being beautiful!” I’m going to rip my lungs out.

(via slaughtermetals)

bitchycode:

*Watching Netflix peacefully*

*Remembers 6 exams, 2 assignments and a presentation*

*Watches Netflix stressfully*

(via slaughtermetals)

dongsurfer:

catracism:

the faster you learn to say ‘this is hideous, i love it’ about an item of clothing and genuinely mean it, the faster no one can take away your happiness about your clothes because they can be like ‘what the fuck are you wearing’ and the only answer you can give is a gleeful ‘i KNOW isn’t it HIDEOUS!’

And once you’ve accomplished this, you can do this with everything. My clothes? ugly. My furniture? Tacky. My car? hideous!

Bring the hideous into your entire life and experience the true zen of not giving a fuck

(via the-best-of-funny)

jt7755:

kelleyelizabet:

sex scene = the audience is uncomfortable and learns nothing 

Sax scene= the audience is impressed and learns love for the saxophone

(via slaughtermetals)